Book Review: What He Must Be . . . if He wants to Marry my Daughter

Crossway recently sent a book for review with a very intriguing title: What He Must Be . . . if He Wants to Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham Jr. As the mom of two girls with a third due next month, it was something I definitely wanted to read! I've been praying for our daughters and their future husbands since day one so this issue is foremost in my mind.

Pastor Baucham is best known for his book Family Driven Faith regarding Biblical family models and the Family Integrated Church movement. In What He Must Be . . . Pastor Baucham focuses on the godly characteristics to look for in a potential husband for your daughters. He lists qualities such as:

• He Must Be a Follower of Christ
• He Must Be Prepared to Lead
• He Must Lead Like Christ
• He Must Be Committed to Children

No one can argue with the importance of these things and I find it refreshing to read a man speaking out about it. He does more than just list the qualities, he goes in-depth and actually provides reasons and examples and how to recognize and develop these qualities. I especially appreciate his encouragement to fathers to guide and protect their daughters, something sadly lacking in today's society. My husband read the book as well and he said it gave him some food for thought. I can testify myself to the fact that I wish I (and my husband) had known these things when I was young and dating!

I have heard pros and cons on both sides of the "patriarchal movement" and the "dangers of feminism." Like everything else in our Christian walk, it can be used for good or it can be abused and turned into legalism. As always, we must hold up any human-made ideas to what the Bible truly says. I think Baucham has some worthwhile advice for both daughters and sons, as well as the parents who are privileged to raise them. He discusses courtship versus the pitfalls of dating, which is an idea I like.

I think this book provides a strong model of Biblical manhood from a man who does not pull his punches. You will find honesty and straightforward talk in What He Must Be. . . if He Wants to Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham, Jr. Whether you're raising daughters or sons, or both, you will find something to help you on the journey of "counter-culture" parenting.